Catato Patch 

A vast blanket of white hung heavily over the scenery. The white fog suffocated every corner of my eyesight; swallowing, erasing, eradicating everything in sight. Was I dreaming?

 

The next time I regained consciousness, I found myself in an unknown house. It was a simple house like the ones you would see in a village, littered with wooden furniture all around. The white hospital bed was now replaced by a simple mattress lying on a wooden bed frame. I felt the warmness of a hug as I laid there in a daze.

 

“Where am I?” was the first thought that came to mind as my eyes slowly opened. However, I didn’t have much time to consider that question before a pair of warm hands cradled me up to someone’s chest.

 

My eyes blinked and then squinted in an attempt to make out the identity of the hands’ owner. It was a handsome blond youth of around 20 years old, sporting a choppy layered hairstyle. He wore clothes made of a low grade cloth material similar to linen. However thanks to his handsome face, he didn’t look like a peasant.

 

“cat$#$%D^^#$” (Honey, why isn’t our son crying?)

 

What did he say? Sounds like a foreign language. This is kind of depressing. Boy, with 35 years of age beneath my belt, I’m your senior. Show me some respect will you? If you are going to communicate with me, you should at least use Mandarin.

 

“cat^&^%fd7$”(Honey, our son isn’t crying...Is he born stupid?)

 

The man continued speaking in that damnable foreign tongue while his arm swooped into my blindspot. The next moment, I was hanging upside down in the air by my left leg.  With my new airborne position, I finally caught sight of the person who was hugging me on the bed.

 

It was a long blue haired lady who was at most 20 years of age. She laid there, hair plastered to her face, a drained look upon her. However, her sickly countenance did nothing to hide her charms. She was a beautiful lady with an attractive oval face and a milky white complexion. If you asked me, she was better than Miss Sola Aoi and Miss Ran Asakawa combined...Wait that’s not right...I definitely didn’t know any Sola Aoi or Ran Asakawa! [1]

 

While I was admiring this work of art, my butt felt a stinging pain. Did I just get spanked?

 

My butt was definitely facing that boy so only he could spank me...Wait, why did I get spanked? Where is this place? Isn’t this Earth? And why am I so small? I’m a freaking 35 year old Wizard/Sage!

 

*slap slap!*

 

Hey hey, stop hitting me. Exactly when do you plan on stopping!  It’s not my fault my ass is pointing at you!

 

How humiliating...I feel like crying… My face scrunched up, tears glistening in my eyes; I was about to cry.

 

“potato^%&*” (Morran, stop hitting him. The boy looks like he is about to cry.)

 

“$%#$%FSD&” (Is that true? Crying is the norm though. Not being able to cry is the problem.)

 

The boy finally placed me back on the bed and looked at my crying, scrunched up face. He then flashed me a damnable smile.

 

My memory stopped at the point where the truck sent me flying so I wasn’t aware of what happened in the interim. Did those two brats get saved? After flinging and kicking them that far, the truck shouldn’t have been able to hit them right?

 

But why am I a baby? Hmm...well this isn’t too bad either. At least I’m not dead, and with a fresh start to boot. But this family seems kind of poor. Their house was made of wood and they are still using oil lamps. Don’t tell me this is a farming village...

 

After a week in this foreign place, I still wasn’t sure if I was in an alternate world or not. My “parents” aka the couple hugging me with a silly look on their face, could also be citizens of a remote foreign country. We had never left this hut and there were no visitors either so I couldn’t confirm the existence of any of the usual telltale signs such as magic or fighter’s aura.

 

My parents were a couple of normal people who spent their lives doing normal things like hugging me, housework, hugging me etc. etc. My dad, Morran, was your average hard-working handsome male farmer. He left at the crack of dawn and came back exhausted after a day of working the fields.

 

The couple loved to sandwich me while sleeping. Perhaps it was due to Rhona’s recent childbirth, but neither of them were worried that I had that sort of interest. Thanks to that, I got a little excited...No wait, I’m not excited, I was anxious. Anxious that those two potatoes would roll onto me while sleeping and flatten me.

 

I had already settled on a name I wanted: Mo Ke. In order to retain my naming rights, I would call out  [Mo ke, Mo ke, Mo ke] whenever I was in front of Rhona.

 

After a few days it seemed to have worked. Rhona would call out [Mo ke] whenever she wanted to summon me.

 

As for this young couple, they had a lot to learn. However, educating them would come later. After all, I’m still a baby. Since the heavens have given me a second chance, ending up as a lonely loser is not an option. I must set up my own harem! Using my two lifetimes of memories, I will create the greatest empire in history!

 

Five months after my birth, fate took a cruel turn.

 

While they were inexperienced as parents due to their young age, they truly cared for me and treasured me. This was the first taste of parental love that I had not experienced in a long time.

 

However, during a bright sunny afternoon, everything changed.

 

That man was a 190 cm giant clad in a set of leather armor. He was older than Morran by several years but still maintained a dashing appearance. He had a messy red mane of hair which made him look like Qiao Feng. [2]

 

This man was known as Roscar. He used to be a mercenary but was now an intrepid hunter. He was Morran’s best friend so upon receiving Morran’s letter, he came over just to see me. The thick calluses on his hand were apparent to me even through my clothes as he hugged me. He was clearly a martial arts practitioner. If I had to give him a rank, he would be an elite mob in a video game.

 

Accompanying him were his beautiful wife, Anna, and his adorable four year old daughter, Nicole.

 

As we sat down for lunch, they began recounting an encounter they had while travelling here. In order to get here, they had to make a trip through the mountain pass. During this trip, they were set upon by bandits. These bandits were most likely the private army of the local lord. Nicole sat beside them, eagerly listening to Roscar recount the tale. At her side, Anna was picking out the bones in the fish for the children. Nicole said she wanted to let her little brother have it so she speared it and held it to my mouth.

 

Should I accept her offering? She's such a cute loli but my teeth haven't even grown out. Can i even digest this?

 

As I hesitated, Anna laughed and told her that babies my age still can't eat fish. She had no choice but to eat the fish herself with a disappointed look on her face. However, she recovered instantly and began pinching my cheeks energetically. If it had been a normal baby, he would have cried by now. But not me! Getting bullied by a loli was a form of enjoyment. So unlike the worried gazes the two mothers threw at me, I didn't mind one bit. In fact, I used this opportunity to suck her finger.

 

I wasn't molesting her...I was just taking revenge.

 

On the other side of the table, the men were ranting about the recent tax increases.

 

Both of them were childhood friends who used to live in the same village. However, Roscar was able to activate his fighter’s aura and that set him on his path to being a mercenary. Morran on the other hand, failed to do so and ended up as a farmer. Thankfully, he was good looking and managed to snag a beauty like Rhona. In a sense, he was a winner in life as well.

 

Fighter’s aura? My heart pounded as I heard this foreign term. Was this really an alternate world?

 

However, unbeknownst to my young excited self, Roscar’s visit was a portent to our tragic fate. This wasn't his fault, though. It was the fault of those damned soldiers pretending to be bandits. And that lord for allowing them to do so.

 

The bandits chased away by Roscar didn’t give up; they were merely biding their time. The army possessed expert trackers who could easily track down Roscar. They did just that, quietly tracking him to our home. In the dead of night, they snuck into our home and killed Morran, Anna and Rhona.

 

However, this was the limit of their sneak attack. They were able to kill the three of them as they did not know martial arts. However, Roscar was different. The moment he detected something was wrong, he alerted Nicole. She grabbed me and went into hiding in a nearby closet. It was a small closet but thanks to our small sizes, we managed to fit in snugly. As we hid in the closet, Nicole watched the scene unfold while quietly sobbing and her hand covering my mouth. The assailants slew Morran, Anna and Rhona in an instant.

 

Roscar howled sorrowfully into the air at this sight. In the dead of night, the fighting raged on as thunderous clashing of weapons mixed in with occasional screams, echoed in the air. By the time the closet door opened a few minutes later, a blood-drenched Roscar stood before us. His normally white sleeveless shirt and shorts were dyed red with blood. His sword was chipped from all the fighting and was dripping blood as he stood there panting heavily.

 

As he had just slain the invaders singlehandedly, the stench of death was still heavy on him. It was as if a god of war stood before us at this very moment.

 

“Dad, where’s mommy?”

 

“Anna……” A sharp clang echoed in the air as his sword arm lost its grip, causing his blood stained sword to fall. Shortly after, his body followed suit. He fell to his knees, face contorted with sorrow and rage as the battle adrenaline finally faded. He was on the verge of mental a collapse…

 

I guess this meant my parents were truly dead? Well it’s alright. While they were my parents, we had only interacted for about half a year. I’m not sad at all. I don’t understand why my eyes were slightly warm nor did I understand why there was something flowing from them…

 

“How...how is this possible…” As the grief-stricken Roscar looked at my tears, his body received a jolt of shock as if he had just witnessed an impossible scene. He stammered as he forced out these words: “Kid...so you felt it too…”

 

Of course I knew they were dead! While it had only been a short five months...while they were younger than me by at least a decade, they were sincerely looking out for me. They were my parents. Without them, I wouldn’t exist. And now, because of you...they are dead. DEAD! Tell me how am I not supposed to be upset!

 

But deep down, I knew that I couldn’t hate him nor should I…

 

I desperately tried to clench my fist and bear the sorrow, but my tiny fists simply did not possess such a strength. Just the act of doing so made me tired…

 

Perhaps my action had given him strength as he reached out and carried me. The metallic stench of blood wafted into my nose as he did so forcing me to sneeze. Roscar immediately returned me to Nicole’s arm.

 

Looking at his gingerness, I just couldn’t bring myself to hate him.

 

“We should leave. Those greedy bastards must not find out that we are still alive…” Without giving it a second thought, he immediately rose to his feet and grabbed a torch and tossed it. Time slowed down as the torch flew towards the cold, lifeless bodies of my parents. I didn’t even have the time to grieve or to lay them to rest before the cruel flames of reality engulfed them, taking with it my home and my short but happy family life.

 

My home was located in a remote corner of the village so we had no neighbors. This conflagration should remove all traces of the battle. No one will ever know of what happened here; of the assailants nor of my family...