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World Boss? No Thanks! Vol 2 C5: The Strange and Fantastical Adventures of Grande

The first time I realized that something was up was when I was still a considerable distance away from that town; I noticed a green wandering spirit looking at me from the distance.

 

As for why I called it a wandering spirit instead of an apparition was because its presence felt weaker than the one I encountered by several fold...thus I labelled it as a wandering spirit…

 

However, that’s not what’s important right now. What’s important was that its appearance was so sudden that it ended up giving me the fright of my life.

 

‘Is it the kin of that apparition?’ As that thought ran through my mind, that apparition’s vehement curse echoed within my mind as if it had just happened. ‘If that’s the case, we have to to flee, right now…’

 

“Uwaahhh!” Thus, I yelped in what had to be my most disgraceful display so far…‘this...this definitely wasn’t because it looked so similar to that apparition that my trembling self ended up yelping like that!’

 

“Uwaaaaahhhhhh!” For some reason, the green spirit opposite me ended up yelping with an even louder voice than me! “It’s...it’s a dragon! An abyss dragon!”

 

“UWAAAHHHH! What...what should I do?!” The spirit stammered, clearly unsettled by the sight of me. Voice still shaking, he muttered to himself, “Should I try and defeat him...protect the town...ahh but, it looks really scary and strong…”

 

‘What’s this, that spirit almost feels like a human being right now...come to think of it, its form is that of a teenager’s, don’t tell me spirits have age ranges as well?!’

 

‘If that’s the case, maybe we can communicate…’

 

“ROAR!” I excitedly called out to him. This was the first time I found another creature that I can communicate with and it's even similar to a human…

 

“YEE!” *thud* The teenage spirit stumbled backwards and tripped from his furious shaking. “Don’t...don’t eat me, I’m not tasty at all!”

 

“Roarr rrooo roar! (Hey, don’t be scared, I don’t mean you any harm at all!)” As I tried to calm the boy down, I attempted to persuade him to engage in a [Soul Link].

 

‘Come on, lad, how about we have a private chat! Eh heh heh…’

 

“AAAHHHH! There’s some unknown magic assaulting me...I’m going to be eaten!” The teenage spirit’s expression grew worse by the second as if someone had sucked the life out of him, but then he is already a spirit…

 

*Ding* [Your [Soul Link] has been rejected, please dial again later!]

 

“Rooar roooo! (Why...why did you reject me?! No matter how you look at me, I’m a harmless dragon that won’t even harm a fly!)”

 

‘Waah, that’s so hurtful!’

 

“WWWWAAAAH!” The teenage spirit suddenly stood up and bolted away…

 

‘Don’t run...I…’

 

‘Lad, aren’t you a little quick to flee?!’

 

“Hehehe…” For some reason, Slime-chan was secretly chuckling at my expense. ‘Wait, why are you laughing at me...am I really that scary?!’

 

‘No, no way...aren’t I pretty handsome?! At least that’s how I’ve always viewed myself...abyss dragon and whatnot sounds really cool too!’

 

“Puheee! That’s...right, huhuhu, Dragon-chan is really handsome!” Hearing my internal jibe, she couldn’t help but let forth a *puhee* despite her best attempts at stifling her laughter.

 

‘Hey, what are you laughing at?! That’s just mean!’ Slightly peeved, I reached out and pinched her tender cheeks into a variety of shapes.

 

‘Wooo, I guess this is to be expected of a slime, so soft and pliable…’

 

‘Ball, cube, even a pyramid, wooo...this is fun! Wait, this isn’t good, at this rate I might get hooked on this for ages! Is this what they mean when they say nowadays it’s the age of faces?!’

 

…...

 

Back at Wanderer’s Abode in Fuhra County, the teenage spirit was in the midst of recounting his harrowing adventure…

 

Every adventurer present knew of this boy, he was a young member of their scouting party and was in charge of gathering intelligence and investigating the enemy. At night, it wouldn’t be strange to find him at the bar regaling the patrons with his heroic adventures.

 

Yet everyone knew that his so-called harrowing adventures weren’t as harrowing as he made them out to be, most of the time he was hardly at danger at all.

 

However...in a place like this, who even cared about such details?! As long as his story wasn’t too ludicrous, no one bothered to expose him. That’s because everyone loved a good tale…

 

Around him, the adventurers had just gotten their order of accompaniments along with a bottle of low grade abyssal wine. With food in hand and a entertaining tale to listen to, was there anything more comfortable than this…

 

“I...I clearly saw it! Right in southeast, it was a dragon! A diabolic, demonic, evil dragon!”

 

“Woah! Was it that evil dragon mentioned in the announcement?!” The crowd continually bombarded him with questions with feverish excitement.

 

“That’s the one! I won’t lie to you all, just thinking about it makes me shiver…” The teenage spirit opened his eyes wide in fear as he said that. “Not only that, that demon dragon even tried to cast some fiendish magic on me, his aim, to kill me! I clearly felt his overwhelming power right there and then!”

 

“Then how did you manage to escape, Grande?!” Asked the astonished crown.

 

“Escape?! I didn’t escape! I couldn’t have been more calm and focused then as I drew out my prized sword!” As he said that, Grande unsheathed said sword and excitedly waved it around before continuing. “Just like this, I stabbed right at its throat!”

 

“Woooo! Grande, you’re such a brave lad!” The crowd cheered and applauded the teen before handing him a bottle of wine.

 

“Hah, maybe!” His eyes sparkled with satisfaction and pride.  “However, that dragon wasn’t just any old lizard...it didn’t try to dodge or evade but instead lunged at me and bit my prized sword. It wanted to snatch my sword away!”

 

“Hoh! What happened next?!”

 

“Right hand still gripping onto my baby, my left swung towards its mandible! *Hah!* Guess what happened next?” Grande then took a swig of wine and after an audible gulp, continued. “It was so stunned by my fist, it saw stars instead. The sheer force of my punch made him loosen his mandible and that’s when I retrieved my baby from his mouth.”

 

“Woah! Grande, that’s amazing!” The crowd showered the teen praises while downing their alcohol.  “Even a dragon’s mandible isn’t safe from your mighty fists!”

 

By now, all the wine he consumed had begun to take effect. Climbing onto the table, he swung his sword around in a drunken fit while exclaiming. “Hah, once I saw that it spat out my prized sword, I hurriedly picked it up and stabbed out at it. I, Grande, was determined to remove this threat and prevent it from endangering our fair county of Fuhra!”

 

“Attaboy!”

 

“However, it turns out that dastardly dragon was prepared for my attack. Its body instantly erupted in countless flames that threatened to burn my very soul to a crisp!”

 

“*gasp*...”

 

“HOWEVER, my reflexes were too fast for it, I immediately ducked to the floor and evaded it…” Arms flailing about and body unsteady, he continued recounting his heroic experience with ever growing drunkenness.

 

“After that, we fought for twenty over rounds, back and forth, with no victory in sight for both of us!” Grande then took a deliberate pause and waited for the cheers of the adventurers but they never came, not a single one of them.

 

At that, Grande couldn’t help but wonder to himself, wasn’t this the perfect time to cheer? Why was the scene so quiet then, were they all drunk already?

 

With that in mind, he turned around to face his crowd. However, what he saw instead was a middle-aged man dressed in a white suit of armor smiling right at him. Around him, the adventurers had all lined up in a couple of straight files on his flanks…

 

“Go on, keep talking, why are you stopping?!”

 

“Guild...guild leader!” Grande was immediately frightened awake from his drunken stupor. The guild leader was the strongest and the most prestigious person in the entire guild, if he were to recount his adventures, even a few days wouldn’t be enough for that...furthermore, this man, Flanrida, was standing behind him right this very second listening to him recount his adventure!

 

This man was a living legend amongst the adventurers. Not only was his strength formidable, his integrity was impeccable and garnered trust effortlessly. Thus, wherever he went, the adventurers would automatically move to sides and clear a pathway for him.

 

‘No wonder the crowd suddenly grew quiet, no wonder they weren’t cheering, it was because the guild leader had arrived!’

 

‘Damn it...these fellows didn’t even try to warn me, to think we used to be brothers-in-arms. What if this little incident causes my standing to fall with the guild leader?!’ Grande mentally griped to himself.

 

“Well, why did you suddenly stop?!” The guild leader raised his eyebrows and stared at Grande.

 

“I, I, I…” Standing face to face with such a respected personage, Grande’s tongue seemed to falter for a moment and refused to listen to his commands.

 

“Sigh, forget it, just tell me…” Flanrida waved his hands and continued, “Exactly where is that dragon...right now?!”

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Footnotes:

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Credits:

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Special thanks to Kaung Thant Win Naing!!

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