Catato Patch 

“This one’s survival is all thanks to you, Dearest. This one loves you to death!” Somehow it felt like she was a completely different person.

 

With the danger gone, she leaped into my arms, and without caring about anything else, tightly pressed her weapons of mass destruction against my chest...surprisingly, they felt rather nice even through the feathers...especially that wafting scent and softness…

 

After struggling for a few arduous minutes, I finally broke free and quickly changed the topic: “That enchanted blade did not have a name previously, but now that it has evolved, I think you should give it one.”

 

“Hmm, what would be a nice name…” She pondered it for a moment before promptly tossing the problem back to me; looks like she didn’t have a knack for naming things. “Dearest should be the one who thinks of a name for this one’s blade.”

 

“In that case, how about...” Looking at the ball of flame circling a couple of inches away, a name immediately came to mind which was rather good, if I had to say so myself. “How about Flametail?”

 

Seeing as it left behind such a beautiful trail of flame sparks as it flew about, Flametail seemed apt.

 

“Flametail? Sounds great, this one likes it. You’re the best, Dearest!” As she said that, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me on the head.

 

Come to think of it, Numila seemed to have changed completely since we were betrothed. Instead of that fiery loose cannon we met previously, she seemed more like a teenager. A teenager in love…

 

“Hey, hey, hey, this Numila seems weird.” Eugenia nudged her frosty companion, eyes wide open and a face filled with incredulity “What happened to that fellow who goes “this harpy, this harpy” for no reason?”

 

“Mhm, a little, weird.” Elena nodded her head lightly, and without saying much more, added: “Brains, not working well.”

 

Now that the matter of Flametail had been settled, the matter of the harpy conflict was basically over.

 

Numila loosened her arms and turned to the other two witches with a smug, authoritative look on her face: “I still have to thank you two for what you did just now, you two actually went out of your way to hunt those souls for me.”

 

Not realizing the subtle change in Numila’s attitude, Eugenia crossed her arms and dismissed her words: “It’s not like we were planning to kill you, we just wanted to recruit you. All that was just a misunderstanding on your part not mine.”

 

“Hmph, hmph, isn’t it a little too late for that?”

 

“What do you want then?” Asked Elena in a steady voice.

 

“What do I want? I want the two of you to submit to me.” Numila’s lips cracked into a smile that wasn’t the least bit like one, the look in her eyes ever changing as she stared at them. At the same time, Flametail started to revolve faster around her, the heat in the air rising as it did so.

 

As the heat slowly climbed to sweltering levels, Elena was the first to back away from the fearsome weapon. While she hadn’t suffered much injuries in the previous fight, her elemental nature made her particularly susceptible to the heat. However, it wasn’t long before Eugenia had to back away as well from the blistering heat.

 

“Sigh…” The two witches stared at each other helplessly. Now that their defeat was basically set in stone, what else could they do other than submit to her as per their ancestral rules.

 

The two witches dropped to one knee and used their actions to prove their loyalty.

 

“Eugenia, pays her respect to the Clan Leader.”

“Elena, pays her respect to the Clan Leader.”

 

“Hahaha, good, you two may rise.” Numila promptly accepted their pledge of allegiance without any intention of making things hard on them. However, upon noticing that she didn’t intend to press the issue, the ever capricious Eugenia immediately rushed to my side.

 

With what looked like an awkward attempt at flirting, she batted her eyelashes at me and pushed her feathery self onto me: “Hello there, this one is Windstorm, Eugenia Windstorm. This one really admires you so can you give this one a blade as well? As long as you give this one a blade, this one will marry you.”

 

Like a cat that had its tail stepped on, Numila almost leaped to the air in anger upon hearing those words: “Eugenia! I dare you to say that again! This harpy will pluck out all your feathers!”

 

“Hah hah hah, while this one has submitted to you, this one still has the right to pursue her partner, this one just so happens to like this lust demon, what’cha gona to do about that!”

 

“He is this harpy’s fiance, so you’d better scram!”

 

“Hah, this harpy this, this harpy that, you haven’t changed one bit. You’re still as boorish as ever, what makes you think any man will like you. This one is so much better than you, not only is this one soft and approachable, this one knows how to be coy unlike a brute like you.”

 

“Die!” Having obviously lost to Eugenia’s cannon of a mouth, she immediately readied herself in a bid to teach this unruly subordinate of hers a lesson.

 

However, Eugenia wasn’t one to be intimidated so easily either: “This one isn’t afraid of you, don’t forget, this one is about to marry Master Lust Demon, if you harm this one’s body, Master Lust Demon will get angry!”

 

What the f*ck, when did I end up in such a relationship with Eugenia, didn’t we just meet each other? We haven’t even spoken more than a few sentences with each other. But, now’s not the time for this, they look like they’re about to start another fight!

 

“Alright, alright, stop fighting, you two. Can’t you all learn from Elena, see how calm she is compared to you two. At this rate, my ear drums will be damaged by your constant bickering.” I scolded the two witches while hurriedly stepping between them.

 

At that, Elena’s pale cheeks reddened slightly before throwing me a bashful smile. Glancing at me for a second, she immediately lowered her head in embarrassment.

 

“Elena doesn’t mind marrying either…” As she murmured those words which made me want to spit out more blood, she bashfully averted her eyes from my own.

 

Exactly...what’s going on today, hmm? Why did all three of them propose to me in a day? It’s probably that isn’t it? They all wanted an elemental weapon that suited them; at the very least, I possessed that amount of self-awareness to know I’m not that attractive.

 

Looks like women really do go after successful men with money and power huh? Or maybe they just see me as a brainless, giant ATM?

 

With the addition of Elena’s own love confession, the three harpies started a whole new argument centered around me.

 

“You two can marry in if you want but this harpy has to be the First Wife!”

 

“Says who? This one feels that such a thing should be decided by your own hard work.”

 

“Says who?! Says this harpy because she’s the first one to propose to Dearest!”

 

“Hmph, this one doesn’t accept that reason, this one wants a fair fight!”

 

“Elena thinks this should be a fair fight as well.”

 

“Scram! Are the both of you trying to pick a fight!?”

 

“This one might not be able to win against you, but Master Lust Demon definitely doesn’t like a brutish harpy like you!”

 

“Elena agrees.”

 

Seeing this spectacle play out before her, Habona couldn’t help but throw me a sneer: “Your harem seems to have grown more chaotic.”

 

“What harem are you talking about? I don’t even know anything about this matter so don’t just go around sticking that tag onto me!”

 

“But aren’t they fighting over you right now? If you don’t stop them, they might just start a real fight.”

 

“Ah...I know that, I know that.” Darn it, why must all the creatures of hell be so brain dead, don’t they know how to solve matters without resorting to their fists? Can’t we just have a nice, peaceful conversation and live in harmony together?

 

“Wooo! Fight! Fight! Mimiya wants to see a fight!” At the side, Mimiya once again stepped in to flaunt her existence. Her cheers grew as she watched the situation develop with rapt excitement. Devil knows what she was thinking right now, but it was probably something along the lines of this world wasn’t chaotic enough.

 

(TL: see what he did there! GOD KNOWS!! DEVIL KNOWS!! huehuehue…..*dies*)

 

Violet Snow on the other hand, was a lot calmer. After attempting to dig a tiny hole in the floor with her adorable little paws, she threw me a side glance and said, “Seems like you’ve gained even more wives, huh.”

 

...I just met them today! And, I don’t even know how this whole marriage with Numila thing even started!

 

“I say, are the three of you just about done here?”

 

Hearing my voice, Eugenia immediately leaped at me with eyes that seemed to have turned into hearts: “Dearest, this one missed you so much!”

 

“B*stard!, Open your potato eyes and see clearly, he’s this harpy’s fiance!” In an amazing display of hand-eye coordination, she swiped her claw between us and prevented her from coming any closer to me.

 

“Huh, if this one is a potato, then you’re a potato as well since we belong to the same race!”

 

“Shut up, you idiot!” Once again, Numila’s mouth cannon came out short and it wasn’t long before the both of them were on the verge of fighting again.

 

“Elena wants a hug too.” Not willing to be left out, Elena promptly cut in as well. Taking advantage of their argument, she rushed in at lightning speed and hugged me.

 

Don’t be fooled for a second by her cold demeanor that seemed like a block of ice; her body wasn’t the least bit cold, not at all like what I’d initially thought. At most, it was slightly cooler to the touch but was still extremely comfortable. Plus, her body’s scent wasn’t like Numila’s at all, it had a kind of minty freshness to it.

 

Blooming proudly amidst a snowstorm, only the plum blossom treads upon the snow…

 

That’s right, Elena was as stunning as a plum blossom to me. Not just because the only snow flower my tiny brain could think of was the plum blossom, mhm. (Author: What do you think of a snow lotus?)

 

Harpy Witches were all drop dead gorgeous, assuming you didn’t look at their feathery body of course. Covering their feathers with a coat might work too; they would be angels if you did that.

 

“Ah, you actually dared to sneak in a hug! Unforgivable! This one wants a hug as well!” Eugenia swiftly broke off from her opponent, who was still in the shock from seeing me being hugged. With a leap, she grabbed onto my back; her breasts pressed firmly against me as she did so. A faint, elegant scent began wafting into my nose...so fragrant...why do all the harpy witches smell so nice…

 

“Hahaha, I hugged him, now he’s my fiance. Now that you’re this one’s fiance, then this one wants a weapon stronger than Numila’s as a meeting gift.”

 

“Elena wants one too.”

 

“You two harpies, let go of this harpy’s fiance right this instant!”

 

“No!”

 

With me as the center, the three harpies began fighting again...by the way, I’m the innocent one here, can you not tug on my clothes… (Author: The black robes from the Western Human Realm.)

 

Ah, who pinched me?

 

And don’t grab that spot between my hips…

 

*weep* My life is so terrible, why must I experience such a carnage filled scene before I even open a harem?